In August it will be a year since I've been down in LA. The deal I had with Ian is that in a year I would re evaluate how well I've done down there and from there figure out if I was going to move back to SLO or not. I go back and forth SO often and with this new house in Templeton it's even harder to justify staying down there!
I've gotten some good work with my agencies.. But nothing really big or great. I have yet to get a campaign.. I did get an editorial spread which is pretty exciting. I guess I feel like I haven't done as great as I expected.
I love living in LA. I love having my independence down there, I have a great job and I'm looking forward to going back to school @ SMC. I have a fun roommate and a cute new apartment.. There's so much to do down there. The only thing missing is Ian. If he was there I would have no doubts that that's where I need to be. But now he just bought this new house..
The one thing holding me really back is that I feel like there's nothing for me to do in SLO. But if I lived in Templeton I could get my real estate schooling done.. Get a job pouring at a winery could be fun.. Or maybe at a cute wine bar in Paso.. I'm just scared that I'd get back here and be bored and regretful within a months time. I would like to be back closer to our families, have people over for dinner, be able to see everyone on a weekly basis. And Chico is so happy here.. Running around all day with Porsche on all the property. Having a buddy to hang out with.. It's the cutest thing ever. He loves his sister.
I don't know. I feel really confused!!!

Life's been crazy busy. I'm living with a new roommate and I'm having a lot of fun.. But I can't help feeling like my time is kind of coming to an end in LA. I don't know.. I'm working a lot and I've gotten all my things together to go back to school.. But I just feel over it. I probably need to just stick it out.. Stay focused on my path and make things happen. Everything always falls into place.
I lost an amazing woman this week. A lot of us did. Zeena Wathen was like a second mom to me, and to the rest of my family, and she will be missed so incredibly much. I can't tell if I'm going through shock or denial or what. Sometimes I break down, other times I'm 100% fine. Most of the time lately I feel like I just want to be on my own and think about old memories and work everything out myself. I'm very grateful, though, that I got to spend this week with my family.
I miss you Jess and 'm really worried about you and I hope you'll call me any time you're feeling really lost.

Other than that, I don't really know what to say. I'm feeling really sad and lost without our Yaya momma.
Yayas and Yayettes forever. Love you always Z.